Spa, Sensual and Erotic Massage; What’s The Difference?

According to Rub Her The Right Way, we believe a spa massage is more clinical in nature. You are detached from your therapist and the therapist is more detached from the client. It is more impersonal. It is more business-like in nature. Not to say there is no connection between client and therapist in a spa massage, because there definitely is one. In the legal sense, a spa massage is the only type of massage you can receive at a business. For in-home massages between two consenting adults, a sensual massage conveys a stronger connection between the person giving and the person receiving the massage. An erotic massage is an extremely intimate, sexual and personal exchange between (hopefully two loving partners in the confines of their relationship).

In the United States, most states require every massage client to be fully draped and a licensed massage therapist only uncovers a client’s body part that they will be working on. Going to a legitimate, and legally operated spa in the US, you will not receive a sensual or erotic massage (excludes some counties in Nevada). If you do, you should immediately report that therapist to his or her manager and then to your local police. And if you ask for such a massage, the therapist might stop the massage immediately and still charge you. Happy endings are considered prostitution in the United States because you are paying for sexual activity.

Briefly…

In the context of Rub HER The Right Way, the differences are cut and dry for us. Simply put a massage you receive at Chiropractor, a massage business or a spa is one that is more clinical in nature. You can dress the room up and make it look less clinical. You can have pretty wallpaper, a beautifully dressed massage table and a diffuser spitting out lavender essential mist, however the client will still be fully draped from neck to toe and only the body part being massaged is exposed. The client also has the option to keep their underwear on or be fully clothed, under the draping. The client is told to dress down to their comfort level.

For us, a sensual massage is not a sexual massage. We call it sensual because our approach is a slowed down technique. We are not bound by the 50 minute massage ‘hour’. Our strokes are more deliberate and we encourage the person being massaged to stay awake. In our sensual massage sessions we also avoid direct contact with genitals and nipples, however we don’t avoid them like the plague either. Sometimes it happens. If we brush against breast tissue or massage extremely high in the inner thighs, the person has already consented as this is normal for a sensual massage.

Erotic massage is not something we offer. But it doesn’t mean we don’t know how to it! We do, in fact, and we will teach you the most effective way to approach this type of massage. Erotic massage is a sensual massage on steroids. The purpose of erotic massage is to give sexual stimulation and sexual gratification. It does not necessarily mean orgasm… but why not?!

Defining Sensuality?

There are people that believe something that is sensual is also erotic, however, sensuality does not always have erotic or sexual connotations. Sensual is something that is pleasing to the senses like the way silk sheets feel against the body of a person who sleeps nude. Definitely sensual but not sexual. Getting pleasure from holding a baby is definitely sensual. But it surely isn’t sexual. By it’s very nature any type of massage is sensual in that it heightens your sense of touch and brings therapeutic inflammation to the tissues of your body. With aromatherapy your mind is stimulated by the properties of the essential oil being applied to the skin and diffused in the air.

Anything that can make you feel good can be considered sensual because you are stimulating one or more of your five senses. They would be sight, touch, hearing, taste or smell. For a lot of people, women especially, eating chocolate can be a sensual experience. Smelling the apple pie baking in the oven can be sensual, even more so if food is a huge part of your life. Watching the sunset alone or with someone else is very sensual for someone who loves nature (beachgoers, hikers, naturists and everyday people too).

I like to use this analogy to explain the differences between sensual and erotic. Watching a commercial for your favorite fast food can make your mouth water and cause you to start remembering the last time you had that particular meal. That is sensual. It was pleasing to your senses. Erotic, however, after watching the same commercial, makes you salivate, you start fantasizing about having those flavors inside your mouth and then… before you know it you’ve grabbed your phone and UberEATS is at your door 15 minutes later. Eroticism is the sexual aspect of sensuality.

What Is A Sensual Massage?

Touch is important in any kind of massage. A good sensual massage should stimulate the mind and relax at the body at the same time. When I give a sensual massage it usually is not a totally full body massage. By that I mean as with any full body spa massage; the genitals and breasts are not massaged. On occasion when women request breast massage we do that. As sexual gratification is not a part of our sensual massages, nipples are not purposely touched. In our sensual massage sessions we also avoid direct contact with genitals and nipples, however we don’t avoid them like the plague. If we brush against breast tissue or massage extremely high in the inner thighs, the person has already been advised this is normal for our type of sensual massage. Many of the females we massage also ask for breast massage. They have consented to the massage and have signed paperwork giving permission. Breast massage helps to move lymph and can greatly reduce the risk of cancer.

We use long, deliberate and slow strokes when giving a sensual massage. We do this in the hope that the person receiving the massage might be following along in their mind as our hands follow the contours of their body. When receiving a sensual massage we never want them to fall asleep. There is a mind-body connection during a massage and falling sleep removes the mental element. We want the person’s subconscious, their imagination to transport them to places of relaxation.

Is An Erotic Massage Exactly What It Sounds Like?

Yes. An erotic massage is designed to arouse and sexually stimulate the recipient. A good erotic massage is also arousing to the person giving the massage. Pleasing your partner should always be something that is pleasing to you as well.

What makes an erotic massage different from a sensual one is the focus on erogenous zones of the body. As explained before, during a sensual massage we don’t touch most of the breast tissue and definitely not the nipples. The genitals are never massaged either, however the very purpose of an erotic massage is to stimulate sexually. If you are going to give a great erotic massage do so by massaging breast tissue for a good amount of time and not just go for the nipples, so to speak. We know that a majority of women prefer the entirety of the breast to get attention but most men want to play exclusively with the nipple. During an erotic massage, we teach how to treat the breast as a whole and not two separate parts.

What Are Erogenous Zones?

Areas of the body that when stimulated by someone (even yourself), respond in such a way that causes sexual excitation and even orgasm are erogenous zones.

The genitals are obviously areas of the body designed to respond to stimulation (the vulva and nipples on the female and penis and scrotum on the male). Some partners make the mistake of only focusing on those areas during love making and in turn, massage. There are many other erogenous zones to concentrate on during an erotic massage. Some, you might have never guessed, especially if your partner never told you or you don’t know yourself on your own body. The ears, neck, the whole breast, buttocks and inner thighs are just a few. It would be a great benefit to learn from your partner the areas of their body that they would like stimulated. It might surprise you to learn just where they like being touched. Every body is unique and different people receive gratification differently. The feet, the sacrum and the inner wrists indeed are areas also often forgotten.

For both sensual and erotic massages I think aromatherapy should be utilized. The sense of smell is very strong and can bring back memories of places and times that were pleasing. At Rub HER The Right Way we prefer using oil instead of lotion during erotic massages because of how easy it is to glide over the surface of the skin.

I should have mentioned this at the beginning of this post but as far as the differences between sensual and erotic massage; this is just the opinion of Rub HER The Right Way. The dictionary and most people still equate sensuality with sexuality. We do not!

Thank you for reading. Now go forth and rub on your loved one.